No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize