Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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