you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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