I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
