absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so explain again why im purple
no
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
