Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
