i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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