The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
