last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
