we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
