I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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