She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
