We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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