Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize