DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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