I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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