I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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