ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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