Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
