Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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