I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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