True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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