I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
