They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
