how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
