she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
