i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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