ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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