Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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