it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
