I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
