I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
