Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize