My room smells like vodka and shame
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
