she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
