in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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