We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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