she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
