dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are the jesus of drinking
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
