i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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