I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
