he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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