Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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