Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
