the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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