Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
