yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize