I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Its about making memories worth repressing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
