Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
