i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
