I bet he comes in French.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
