Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
