There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize