What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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