i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i dont even know how to be here
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
