This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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