On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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