Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
