I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
