Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
