So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
