so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
